Being a five years old have always been a unique experience for everyone. When I was in this state, I have a lot of habits that made people raise their eyebrows. To be honest, I always remember how people judged me as ‘boy who has a lot of weird habits’. That includes talking to myself; have an excessive, annoying amount of questions regarding to god; ‘reading’ people’s palm just to say something that I actually forgot now, counting ceramics as I walked in a public pavement, etc.
Among other things, one that I remember vividly is about how I whirled, spun my body as fast as I can, until I lose my awareness. I used to do this, especially in a wide, spacious area where I could spinning myself without disturbing any living things. That, by some people, was categorized as a weird habit too.
Well, it might be considered as a ‘weird habit’ since I brought them with me until I sat in 5th grade. That means I was a ten years old when I stopped doing that routine. You’re not a little kid anymore when you sit in 5th grade. You might be still a little kid for everyone else older than you, especially your parents, of course. But your very self began to think that somehow, you’re growing too fast for you to handle. That you’re changing and no one could stop that. I felt it when I was a ten years old. Strongly.
I always did my spin routine with my eyes closed, yet my head were pointing up. Sometimes I opened my eyes – usually when I spun at the open space – just to savor the color of the sky and how it turned like you were making a mixture of colors. It was always beautiful. The most magical thing when it comes to spinning my body, was how weird yet wonderful I feel about it. It was liberating, relieving, and most importantly; ecstatic.
Yes, I’ve always been ecstatically aware whenever I spun my body like crazy. Or maybe I’m not aware? Maybe I’m not in my conscious when I did that, I don’t know. The only thing that I’m sure of, is how weird yet amazing that is too let your body spin as fast as you can. It felt like you’re being raised from the ground. You were thinking that you fly.
And that, is apparently what our fellow Mystics were practicing. You might identify Mystics by more popular adjective: Sufi. Since these Mystics are somehow having their special approach to find god, hence their rituals are unique and different. Not all Mystics are practicing and doing this whirling routine, but some of them, particularly Turkish and Persian Mystics are devoting themselves into this ritual. Dated back from 13 century AD, this beautiful ceremony was a part of Jallaludin Rumi’s teaching. A famous, notable Persian Mystic himself, Rumi is a brilliant person whom vital teaching is about loving god, which also means, loving yourself.
To love god you need to set yourself free. But to set yourself free, doesn’t require you to ‘leave’ your body entirely. You just need to take it to another level. You need to raise your spirit so you could experience any magical feelings that you might savor. To whirl, is only one from so many methods.
Now, this Mystics might did a lot of illogical things, too weird for us to comprehend. But I think these guys are honest with their love of god. They do what they think would suffice to feel any wonderful, loving feeling that for some of us are just beyond imagination.
How many of you are feeling ecstatic when you pray? I myself never felt it.
Now, how many of you are feeling ecstatic when you play some music, when you sang, when you dance, when you paint?
When you spin?
We have a lot of methods when it comes to getting closer to our god. Rituals are things to be considered, although some of us are believe that they’re an obligatory. Those ‘vital’, ‘necessary’ rituals might be are as important as they called it to be, but don’t you think that it would be interesting for us to consider another methods to love our god?
No, I’m not asking you to spin your body in public out of nowhere nor context. No. I was trying to remind ourselves about how honest we used to be when we were a kid, and how hard our environment had became to our spirit and imagination. We literally killed ourself, once we put that ‘essential’ rituals into a mathematical value involving sins and virtues.We start losing everything important and gaining some cruel, primitive, uncivilized perspectives about our own religion, and our god as well.
Next time when I want to remember my god, I’ll savor myself into anything beautiful that comes in my way. That ‘weird habits’. The sound of a beautiful song; the joy when I fell asleep on a very comforting bed; an exploding, delightful feeling when you’re happy and all you want is hugging every single people that you meet; an awesome, amazing mixture of the skies with its blowing wind when you spin like a crazy five years old kid…